How BBNaija #DoubleWahala changed my life

BigBrother Naija#DoubleWahala is finally over. This show was a nationwide sensation, with unities being formed on one side and for others an avenue to breed hate. To most individuals it was a form of entertainment, to a few it was an avenue for their fav to make some #schmoney. 

Although I joined the bandwagon late; I didn't start watching big brother until week 9 or 10, Every eviction was a room for me to learn a new life lesson, so in no particular order what I gained from big brother are,

1. The world is a stage: all the housemates from different backgrounds were put on the hot seat with nationwide focus on them. Today some of them even though they were evicted were able to sell themselves within the shortest possible time. No one will sell yourself for you, you determine the kind of brand you want to be and the whole world is waiting and watching for what you choose to show them.

                                     

2. Never underestimate anyone: i remember people used to call Nina all sorts, looked down on her, bullied her but shockingly Nina made it to the finals. Most of the housemates who looked down on her watched from the sidelines. The worst thing you can do to yourself in life is underestimate your competition or anyone for that matter.

3. Believe in Yourself: Nina grew the most in the big brother house. From a naive shy girl who couldn't express herself to a young woman who learnt how to speak up for herself. Although she couldn't believe she made it to the finals, the lesson still remains, ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. 

4. Stay focused : Life will always throw distractions, events , occurrences to throw you off balance, it is extremely important to keep your eyes on the prize. A lot of housemates got distracted by emotions, tension, strikes, fights even to the point of disqualification. Never allow what life throws at you to shift your focus from where you want to be.

   

5. Choose your Partner wisely: Some may say it is just a game, but to the #CEEBI fans, we all could see the effect of a toxic relationship. Both parties had their parts to play but it makes it clear that if you don't choose your life partner wisely, that person can make or mar your future. To a large extent, all the drama affected both parties, threw them off balance, made them lose focus, lose some fans, tainted their brand. 

6. When life gives you lemons..... : I can never forget the day Tobi was insulted for close to an hour. This incident is enough to teach us many lessons:

a. Never lose your calm: tobi held back so much emotion, so much anger. He knew that his reaction will determine the rest of his journey. Whatever life throws at you always keep your calm. 

b. Think before you act: I genuinely doubt Cee-Cee did this. Usually when we are faced with a challenge in life we switch to panic mode and start taking action before remembering to think before acting. Anyone who doesn't remember this is setting themselves up for a lot of mistakes. 

c. You don't always have to push back, learn to read between the lines: at a point it was obvious Tobi decided to keep quiet and let Cee-Cee show herself, even when she wanted to stop, he will make a statement that will make her flare up and damage herself a lot more. 

d. Look for the Silver Lining: Tobi turned the situation to his advantage. At the end of the incident everyone was saying Tobi has character, Tobi is a man, he gained more fans because of this. Would this have been the case if he reacted? Definitely not. Learn how to turn situation to your favor. 

7. No one can stop you if it's not your time:   cee-c was up for eviction 7 times,  at the end of the day she made it not just to the finals but to the top two. People can try their best to bring  you down but if it's not your time to leave, there is nothing anyone can do about it, 

As an Alex fan I sat down and asked myself how she got to the finals. She wasn't such a strong contender but the lines fell into pleasant places for her. If she didn't win head of house a week to the finals we might have had to kiss her goodbye a lot earlier. 

8. Position does not equate to value: This! Efe was first place last year, Bisola makes more strides in the society today. Although Cee-Cee came second, she didn't go home with any prize money. Tobi and Alex won prizes although they finished after her. 

9. Nothing is as important as a good name/brand: My dad says this a lot. Now the game is over so what's next? Endorsements, opportunities, brand ambassadors, etc. certain housemates had themselves sidelined due to the behaviors they portrayed. For some the damage has been done and we all cross our fingers and wait for what is going to happen next, while for others are confused on what offers to take. The importance of a good name/brand cannot be quantified. 

                             

10. What is in your hand? Every housemate in that house has been given a platform, an avenue to sell themselves. Some have used it positively, e.g koko's fashion house, bam bam's essential oils, etc. 

11. Spirit of Sportsmanship: Miracle won and all the housemates ran to congratulate him except one person. Yes! It's normal to be disappointed but it is important to have the spirit of sportsmanship. It shows your character.

                   

12. You don't need everyone to get to the next level: the hate Cee-C got was unbelievable. Someone will believe that after all that hate she will be evicted immediately. However, time and time again she survived every eviction. You don't need everyone to like you to get to the next level.

13. Never burn bridges: Certain people were able to create friendships, create long lasting relationships, tolerate each other for the time in the house while some left with burnt bridges. No one in the house who burnt a bridge was better off for it.

The Game is over! The curtains are drawn. How did BBNaija #DoubleWahala change your life?

Reconnaissance

" I am tired! I am tired of trying !, what is it? Why does everything have to be so difficult? And it seems no one understands what I'm going through" Deola Lamented

"And what exactly are you going through?" Victory said with an amusing look on her face.

Deola rushing to get ready for CDS before she misses attendance answered with an exasperated voice " It's bad enough I have to fend for myself in this lagos, My allowee has not been paid, I don't have transport money for this week, I have to register for my ICAN classes and still make time to call home everyday, Why don't people understand that even though I'm just a corper I have a lot on my plate"

"Hmm!! Is that all?" Victory blurted chuckling "I don't really see what is funny Victory, if this is how you will be laughing then please leave me alone"

Victory realizing that Deola was getting upset quickly tried to appease her "Ahn ahn my friend, someone cannot play with you again? I just feel you are so lucky compared to me, you know I'm squatting with you and I don't even have a job yet, oya tell me between me and you who has more reasons to be angry"

Tola who had been sitting on the bed and listening to the conversation sat up and faced both friends " Oh really, so this has turned into competition of who is suffering more?"

Deola replied " Tola Abeg abeg! Not everyone has it as easy as you, not everyone has an Uncle at Aso Rock" Tola nodded her head in dispair and walked to her friend and said " Deola, although things may not all be figured out right now you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back,, a good paying job ,  a good car and lest I remind you that all this were given to you by your parents,  just to buy fuel into the car you are lamenting. And I'm very sure you don't  feel grateful. Honestly that's not good enough"  as she was talking Deola's expression slowly melted from anger and frustration to shame and reluctance.

" Oya what about me? What do I have to be thankful for? I've just been having bad days"  Victory stood up with her hands akimbo in a defensive manner waiting to hear what Tola will say. "Hmm! No matter how bad your day is there is always something to be thankful for, always something to be grateful for. Good health, Life,  Journey mercies, the food you ate, the roof over your head even if you are squatting,  Honestly I can sit here and list more than enough things to be grateful for, there is a  spirit of entitlement most of us have that blinds us to the blessings all around us" 

"The lecture is okay! I'm leaving now, please don't forget to the leave the key under the mat" Deola said as she rushed out of the house.

What are you grateful  for? 

Are you Ready?

The new year is here again. Another January, another set of resolutions 😩, for some of us we are excited to have a clean slate and start again, we have set our goals and we are ready to conquer the world. Some of us are more on the uncertain side, better not to be disappointed. Well this year! We are not going to just breeze through, we are not going to get to June and wonder what kind of year is this? 12 months is a long time to just wing it! 

TOOLS YOU NEED to SUCEED

- A notebook/Diary 

- A Calendar 

- Sticky Notes 

NOTEBOOK/ DIARY : Order is so important for success, you need a notebook to prioritize your day, plan your day the night before, write your goals for the year in this book. That way you will be able to look back and know what you are working towards
.

                          

CALENDAR - I mean a Hard copy calendar, not the ones on our phones, you need to hang this somewhere you will see it everyday, probably near the mirror, or on the wardrobe. The important events happening in your life should be ticked on it,   birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, travel plans, etc. a soft copy calendar is good but you don't want to be lost if something happens to your gadget( you can print a calendar on https://print-a-calendar.com/january-2018 )  

STICKY NOTES- sticky notes are so important, sometimes you need to prep yourself, encourage yourself, remind yourself of important happenings during the week, Post your THEME For the year ( your slogan for the year e.g Postivity, Living my Best Life, Be the best Version of Myself, Daughter of the Most High, etc). Sticky notes are a must! So don't overlook it 

So back to the topic! Are you ready? Tick the boxes and let's know what your score is. To make it easy to remember I named it SHIPFCC

S - Spiritual : Did you set spiritual goals for the year? It doesn't have to be something big, little drops make a mighty ocean. You can start by going to church regularly, praying for 10 minutes before your day starts, read a chapter  of proverbs every day, etc

 H - Health: health is wealth! This is not a joke. You need to strive to eat better, take multivitamins if you need it, cut down on calories, excercise. Make sure you set a goal. I decided to drink green tea everyday and excerise twice a week. I know I might fail a few times but I know what I'm working towards. 

I - Interpersonal  Relationship - No man is an island. Our generation has a bad habit of cutting people off, sometimes we are the problems and other times we choose to stay in toxic relationships, as the new year starts take a review on what you can do better, how you can improve your relationships, what relationships need to be left in 2017. 

 

P- PERSONAL - set personal goals for yourself. How do you want to improve and develop yourself? Dress better? Be more presentable? Learn an art? Play an instrument? Perfect something you started previously, take a certification exam, etc .
  

F- Financial - Set a financial goal for yourself this  year. How much do you want to save by the end of the year? How do you plan on saving it? What medium will you use to save the money. We all have dreams but if we don't work towards them it cannot be achieved. Do you want financial freedom? What is your plan? Just a tip! Save before spending! Not after!  

Career - This aspect can be divided into work, academics( for those in school), career, business( for entrepreneurs) what is your goal for this year? Get a good job? Graduate? Increase your CGPA? Register your company? Make sure you work towards your goal. 

Charity-  It is so important to give this new year. You don't have to join an NGO to help someone out but make sure you have a plan to give back to the society. 

I know all this might seem overwhelming but if you can achieve some of the goals you set out in these departments, this new year will be not just eventful but fruitful. 

Remember! Small Victories lead to Big Wins! Start from somewhere! Cheers to a beautiful 2018 

Now the Day is Over!!!

Now the day is over

"Now the day is over, night is drawing near..." that's the only part of the song I know 😂. If you remember this song you are an OG!  The point is the Year is over and it's the beginning of a new dawn. 

Some of us had big plans for 2017 that came through! All glory to God, some of us were not so lucky. Some lost family, close friends, relationships,money, time, etc. 

Some were not able to achieve what they set out to. You didn't get your dream job? Your dream certification or things just didn't fall into place. You are dissapointed! Sad! Filled with resentment,  What is next ?

The first place to start is GRATITUDE! If you are not thankful for the little things how can you be blessed with bigger things? Do you have good health? Are you alive? Are you aware that there are many who achieved what you wanted but are not alive today to enjoy it? take a minute and look back at the year, there must be something to be thankful for. 

I know it sounds cliche but do not wait till you lose someone close or experience poor health before you start being grateful for life. 

Secondly, LESSONS! Every day there is a lesson to be learnt. What could you have done better this year? What did you do wrong? What didn't you do enough? It's okay to make mistakes but the problem comes when you fail to learn from your mistakes. Don't just read this article, take a pen and paper and actually write down the lessons you learnt this year. 

Thirdly! RESOLUTIONS. I know so many of us have resolutions, some of us don't even bother because by February we have forgotten, but are you aware that nothing really changes in a new year, it's just the number. Why are you waiting till 2018 to make that change? Why don't you start now? In fact! If you start now you just might have perfected it for the new year. 

Now the day is over! Night is drawing near! Although dawn comes in the morning, make sure you are prepared ❤️

"0 Billion for the Account" 😭😭😭

I am tired of this lack of stability. Today I feel untop of the world, 30 Billion for the Account! Well actually not that much. The point is I struggle with the Spend Right Now Syndrome. I know you are wondering which one is the Spend right now Syndrome? Are you the kind of person that when you get a credit alert you feel untop of the world? You feel like the richest person in the world. You can afford anything. You remember all your needs ( or wants if you are truthful to yourself). With the new advent of ATM and Internet banking it's safe to say the "Akant balance" does not stay up for long. Tha banks are ready to make us us spend. If your mobile number is attached to your account and you can buy credit on your phone then you are in a deeper pit 😂😂. Let me not start with the *737*Clique. They don't need Internet to even withdraw all their money 😂😂😂😂

My mum and I went out one fateful day and well let's say we did not return home with the side mirror intact. My mum had to fix it as soon as possible, so the next day she went out and paid to fix it. I looked at myself and wondered, if someone should bash me today can I afford to fix a car?

I had to go to the hospital on short notice. Hospitals these days though! How much is our salary that medical care is so expensive. I had to check myself, can I afford my own health care. Truth be told health issues are usually emergencies. It's not like birthdays that you can save and plan for it.

The youths of today are always quick to complain and blame their lack of saving spirit on the low salary they receive. " I only earn 90k, when I buy fuel... etc what is left?" My dad always tells me the minimum wage of your country is N 18,000 and families have to survive on that. It gives me worry
As to what the problem is. Why can't I save? Why do I plan how to spend money before it enters my account?

Every New year I tell myself I am going to have X amount in my savings account at the end of the year. Right now I am zero percent close to reaching my goal. I have tried so many steps and they
have failed. Some include;
• Opening an Account and not getting a debit card for it
• Having a piggy Bank
• Telling my roommate to hold money for me
• Promising myself I will Save after spending on the necessities.
• Leaving money in the pockets of my clothes so that when I wear them I'll get a surprise (it works a little)

You cannot save after spending. Only God knows where I got such a ridiculous idea. I believe if you truly want to save, after paying your tithe remove the percentage you want to save. Obviously that is not enough but after searching for a solution luck smiled on me, PIGGYBANKNG!! I know you are wondering what is that.

                                                         

Piggy Bank Ng ( Powered by UBA Bank) is an app available on all our phones where we can save directly from our account. You can set your app to automatically debit your account or you can debit into your piggybank account at your own time. There is a particular percentage that is added to your account based on how many days you decide to save the money. You have the option to withdraw money 4 times a year or a day you set. Withdrawing outside that day will attract a 5% penalty. There also exists a safelock option. This is similar to fixed deposit. Once you safelock your money you have no access to. It until the date set arrives. You also receive the interest upfront.
 
                                                              

Honestly if the penalty does not deter you from withdrawing then nothing can. It is also amazing to see your savings increasing. For someone who loves winning I love to see myself superseding the targets I've set for myself. So if I set 3000 Naira per month, I want to be able to save that much or more. Where you fail to reach your target the app turns red. You don't want that now do you?

We should also check our statement of Account monthly. Sometimes the bank can debit you twice and you will never know because you never check your statement of account.

I'm still open to new ideas on how to save money. Any clues?

And the Award for the Worst Citizen goes to ......

October is a special month in my country. This is the month my twin was born ☺️😩 and this is the month we gained our independence 😒😕, This year came with Mixed feelings.  We all tried to find out what the problem of the country was and who was to blame for our slow progress.

As I sat in church that Sunday I was so annoyed. Wondering for how long we will keep praying and soliciting for a country that seems not to be going forward. At the end of service that day it became to clear to me what the problem of my beautiful country is.

Take this test honestly and you will know without a doubt who the worst citizen of this great Country is;

1. Peeing/ Pooing outside - Abuse, pollution, defaming the walls.

2. Throwing things on the floor instead of the bin - after we will be shouting flooding! This is environmental pollution.

3. Writing on the currency- common!

4. Bribing for admission - once our education system is rotten then what are we doing?

5. Bribing for nysc - but really must we bribe.

6. Whoring to get a job - that is why unqualified people are making poor decisions in their work place.

7. Fake  papers ( insurance, drivers license, passport)  - this is just sad.

8. Special Centre- WASSCE, NECO , JAMB , etc. if you were taught in the exam hall whether directly or indirectly, humbly tick for yourself.

9. Selling things online and blocking them without delivering/ delivering undervalued items/ overpricing items and shouting"it's the dollar"  - we are quick to call diezani a thief but we do the same thing, also over pricing encourages inflation.

10. Disobeying traffic lights - this can lead to accidents, loss of lives, etc.

11. Refusing to obtain permanent voters card - God asked Moses at the Red Sea, what is in your hand? What is in our hand? When you can't vote how can you elect?

12. Refusing to come out and vote - This is just irresponsibility.

13. Selling your vote for one bag of rice - Esau Behavior. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

14. Unnecessary bureaucracy  ( settle me before you can see oga) mentality - this is why this country cannot move forward.

15. 3 or more cars leaving one home- then don't complain of traffic.

16. Students Associations squandering School Funds- we can't trust you with little how can we trust you with bigger responsibilities.

17. Scamming your parents while you were a student- if you can scam your parents you can scam anybody.

18. Illegal Immigrant - it is very embarrassing when they deport so many Nigerians. You just don't represent your family, you represent your country as well.

19. Not Paying our taxes - it is your duty. It is the law.

20. African Time- less productivity when we keep arriving late. Nigerians can be early! Honestly just try harder. Plan to start getting ready early and prepare for traffic as well.

21. Procrastination - the government procrastinates, the Citizens procrastinate! Then we wonder why we never get things done in this country.


22. Living above your means - we want to use the latest gadget, drive the best cars, use the best weaves just to show off. But you know in your heart you cannot afford this lifestyle.

So how bad a citizen are you? What did you score? Leave your comments below 😋😋😋

"Change Starts with you" - it might sound cliche but it is the honest truth.

Peace Series: PROTECTION PROGRAMME

Life keeps throwing lemons at us. It isn't so easy to make lemonade now is it? Too many times I've asked myself, what was the point of worrying? What did it change? The results that came out were the same.

We cannot focus on what steals our peace because there are uncountable reasons. Worry, lack of trust, life , death , bills, etc. however, we know that for something to be stolen it was not protected enough. So this leads us to a very important aspect, how do we protect our peace?

Firstly, not everything is in our control. Hence, when you cannot control what is happening, you can control how you respond to that situation. Your school is on strike, you cannot control it but you can control how you choose to react to it. The best way to react is to be calm and calculated. Worrying, overreacting, panicking and being anxious has never made anything better. 

Secondly, No one can make you feel bad without your consent. Yes! It sounds cliche, but have you ever wondered why you always get angry when your parents scold you but your sibling doesn't flinch. It doesn't mean he or she did not listen, he decided not to make that instance steal his peace. This goes for jobs, projects and other areas of life. No one can make you feel bad unless you let them. 

Follow your heart. This is so important. When you know the way you want to go but you allow peer pressure, what the society will say, your status define your decisions for you, you begin to battle with your mind, you begin to battle with yourself and before you know it your peace is gone. Learn how to listen and follow your heart. That way it is easier to bear the consequences of your actions.

Choose your battles. It is not every argument you must participate in, it is not every time you must share your opinion. This is something we all struggle with. At the end of the day, after the argument and the debates you end up annoyed, relationships are strained, mean words are said and everyone goes home worse off than they started. Ask yourself this , proving you were right  was it worth your peace? 

Have Faith! For believers who know that God is the foundation on which they stand, are you not aware that your lack of peace shows a lack of trust in God. Are you saying that God is not bigger than your problems or He cannot handle it? Don't you believe that His plans for us are good and not evil. You obviously do not trust yourself, but you should trust God. The next time something steals your peace, remember to tell God to deal with it, and leave those burdens behind. 

Be occupied! An idle man is the devil's workshop. You are waiting for a result from a job interview, an exam you wrote, a proposal you submitted. Why don't you keep yourself busy while waiting. After all thinking constantly about it is not making time move faster. Keep your mind occupied so the devil does not plant evil thoughts in it.

There are so many ways to protect your peace. What other ways can we protect our peace? ❤️❤️

Do not forget to drop your comments below😘

Peace Series : Guilty Pleasures

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Tola needs to learn some common courtesy, every single day she comes to my room and disturbs my peaceful sleep. Sometimes I wonder if she does this intentionally. Truth be told it's already 7:00am and I have to be at work by 8. Maybe I should actually stand up. 

 I take my phone and check my messages. Wow there's a message from deola, let me take a few minutes to reply her. Deola is also awake and we end up talking for ten minutes. 

Now the time is 7:15am I really need to stand up now. As I stand I remember to say a quick prayer to God" lord Jesus you know I love you but I'm running late, give me a beautiful day ahead,amen" 

I start to hurry. I need to leave the house by 7:40 in order to get to work early. Thank God I live close to work. What should I wear? 😩😩😩 "oh my God! We are on inverter! I forgot to iron the day before! God why do bad things happen to good people". Relunctantly I wear a rough dress. Hopefully no one will notice. Now the time is 7:30am. 

This brows are not coming out right! Should I just leave it? But how will soji at work see me without makeup! No! I must get this eyebrows done! The devil is a liar. 

Finally I'm ready! Thank God for braids wig🙏🏽🙏🏽 I quickly rush out and forget to switch off my fan and lights. On getting downstairs Dad says to me "Tolu! I am very sure you did not switch off your light, go back upstairs and switch it off" I can't believe this! It's 7:40! Does Dad understand what is going on? I'm going to be late! In order not to waste time arguing I quickly dash upstairs and turn off the light. 

As I leave for work I remember I did not greet my mum. I can smell the nice aroma of  Asaro coming from the kitchen. Too bad I won't be able to taste it. 

I quickly dash to my car and as I'm about to leave  I see my dad chasing the car. " what does this man want again". " Tolu did you guage the tyres I told you to gauge last week?". Oh snap! I totally forgot! Well I've been busy, I say to myself. I try to mumble some Mumbo jumbo and before I can my dad says " you have a flat tyre Tolu,you better come down and start changing it or enter public transport" 

The time is 8:00am. Oh Lord!!! why do bad things happen to good people? 

If Not Now, When?

Every morning I wake up with a fire 

A fire burning from deep within 

I know where I'm going 

I know how to get there 

But is it possible not to get burnt ? 

Is it possible not to step on some toes? 

Is there anything like being too ambitious? 

Can it all be justified when I join the "pros"

Health is wealth they say 

So I eat my vegetable

God is the only way 

So I go off cable 

Dad says Plan your time! 

Mum says to fail is a crime! 

So I study till my nails turn grime 

I promise myself I won't waste a dime 

It's finally over! 4 years of no rest! 

And I beat my chest cause I did my best! 

Life knows I'm just starting this test

And it says to me be my guest 

Determination 

Perspiration 

Abjucation 

But no ablution 

Work, make money, 

Destroy any threat then say "I'm sorry"

It doesn't matter how you get there 

Switch off your mind, don't care 

I lie on my death bed 

And I ask myself this question 

Why do I feel so abashed? 

Why do I feel so embarrassed? 

Why do I feel so ashamed? 

Why do I feel so deserted? 

Did I leave behind a legacy? 

Was life just about making ends meet? 

What's the prize for not being lazy? 

Did I create a void where none can seat? 

I fought the world 

Fought my friend

Even went bald 

Just to blend 

At the end of the day I'm just another man 

Who came to earth and left an empty can. 

The world is ours to conquer! Or so it seems. Our lives are in an endless cycle, go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids , retire then go to the other side.  During the daily hustle and bustle do we ever take a moment to think.. what if I don't make it? What if I don't get to the next stage? 

Have you ever taken a step back to check yourself and answer this question"What am I adding to my environment?" If you walk away today would anyone notice? What Have you done selflessly that wasn't for your benefit?

Many of us might feel like we are so small and can't make a difference but each day touch someone's life positively, help someone out, look for a way you can ease the pain in this world today. Little drops of kindness can turn the world around. 

We have a tremendous responsibility . So much depends on us. If not me, who? If not now, when? It is our job here and now to do our best to make a difference - Gordon B.Huckley 

Are you Unemployed or Unemployable? 😔😞😩

Nigeria they say is a land flowing with milk and honey. But is it ? We are told to come home because the opportunities are endless. However day in day out, more graduates are released into the streets, they fill up the buses in their corper uniforms,  some are fortunate enough to have cars to drive them to interviews, however how many graduates actually get jobs? Not just jobs but good paying,needs - satisfying jobs?

A friend of mine complained to me that the issue with jobs is how many years work experience the companies are asking for. Some ask for 5 years, some ask for seven, some ask for three, however, how are we supposed to get work experience if we are not even given a break?

As I wondered and pondered on the next step of action to take with this generation of mine  I realized how many of us are actually employable? How many of us fit the requirements? What do we have to bring to the table apart from a B.SC, L.L.B, M.S.C. 

I saw a Broadcast message on whatsapp that triggered me to  share this piece of information I was fortunate to have been blessed with. Firstly, the world is moving forward, we are in an IT generation, many of us tweet and share pictures without knowing that employers actually go to our pages to check out our substance. For some of us there is nothing of substantial value there. Mostly it is subs ( this is a slang), foul language, clique fights, sex. We need to realize that what we put out there for the public has an impact in our lives long after the 24 hours on snapchat.

I remember many of my classmates saying after our last paper they will never carry a book again. How do u expect to be given a job if you are not willing to read? A saying goes the best way to hide something from an African is to put it in a book. The mind is only as powerful as you exercise it. Interviews are not just limited to what u were thought in school, what u have learnt outside school is substance. Stop filling your mind with just music lyrics ( which is good ) fill your mind with books, poems, articles, publications. 

It is quite surprising that we spend so much time on our gadgets but we are not conversant with power point, Microsoft Excel, e.t.c. For any employer to take you serious you need to be equipped with these skills, this is a basic requirement.

Professional competence? No matter the course you read in school there is always room for improvement, there is always an exam you can take to place you above your peers. Now a University degree does not cut it. We have ICAN, ACCA, B.L, CIARBNIGERIA, ICMC, Project Management, etc. Register for a professional course today, don't just register! Excel! 

Etiquette!!! This is missing in our generation. many of us have poor time management, poor decision making in picking the right outfit for a working environment, lack of respect for our superiors, poor accountability skills, how do we expect to be offered a well paying job if we don't have these skills?

NEWS!! Not just local news but international news. Are you aware with what is going on outside the four walls of your room. What is your take on the Kaduna Crisis? ISIS? ISREAL moving its capital to Jerusalem, The Syria War. The Ripple effects of Great Britain leaving European Union?

Enough Chastising! What is the way forward? The most important step is to open our minds. We need to realize graduation is not the final bus stop. It is just the beginning of a looooooooonnnnggg road. Keep yourself positively busy, read books ( motivational and inspiring books, learn a trade or enhance your skill, learn how to use Microsoft Office, publish articles, take Professional exams, sharpen your etiquette. 

Many of us might not want to hear this but a 9- 5 is not the only road. Entrepreneurship is slowly taking over our economy. Search inward and find what you are good at, perfect it and start up a business, no matter how small. This can be done alongside your office job or full time. The point is don't keep waiting for a job! Create your own job. 

Lastly, INTERNSHIPS!!!! Internships are so important and often overlooked. So many companies are offering graduate internships. Some pay while some don't. I understand why many of us do not want to work for free ( who will pay for transport, feeding, data?) however, the truth is we are not aware that experience cannot be bought with money, many individuals started off volunteering and ended up getting a job offer, some learnt on the job and went on to be qualified for other jobs. 

Don't Sit at home and Complain that Nigeria is bad, no matter how bad it is people are thriving. Be the change you want to see, make yourself ready! So when that job comes around the question will not be are u qualified for the job? Instead the question will be is the job good enough for you? 

Communication Series : Technology, a blessing or a curse

Technology they say has propelled us in the right direction, sadly we have lost touch with certain parts that make us human.

I remember when my friend sent me a message saying " so you can't check up on me, you can't pick my calls ? Answer me" first thing that came to my mind was why is this one fighting? Later on I realized that she didn't mean it in the tone I read it. The cellphone might be a sharper and faster mode of communication but does it actually pass on the message? 

The world has made it easy with Whatsapp, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, LinkedIN and many more. Truth be told none of this equals actually CALLING and hearing the VOICE of the other party, none is as strong as actual PHYSICAL CONTACT! many of us have lost simple communication etiquette due to this. Can anything be done to remedy this? 

Firstly, we need to get rid of PROXIMITY WITHOUT PRESENCE. It's easy to see a family relaxing in the living room and everyone is busy on their gadgets. They are close together but they  don't communicate. Everyone is busy chatting, calling, tweeting. The next time your with your family or your Significant Other take note of how much time is spent on gadgets. You will be surprised what you will notice. 

SECONDLY, the importance of Saying Sorry. When you hurt someone, it's easy to leave chat and later on just message like nothing ever happened. many of us believe we should just move on from the scenario, little do we realize the scars of our action still resents in the victim. Learning how to apologize isn't a sign of Weakness, on the contrary it is a sign of strength. It takes guts and letting go of pride. When next you owe someone an apology don't "text" it, Say it! It shows sincerity and remorsefulness. 

The Generation of today have issues with expressing how they feel. You hear phrases like "and everything" " you get" "he was like", " Cash me Ousside" this isn't proper expression. The lack of actually speaking and spending more time texting has a negative effect on many of us. When you can't express yourself you have issues with letting the other side understand your point of view. This is why parents have more fights with their kids, husbands with wives and even bosses with their surbordinate.

An English Lecturer once said the problem with the essays of the youth today is they fail to differentiate chatting from actual composition. You see individuals in the office, in projects typing words like "tym", "wat" "GM ( means good morning". This isn't adequate. Communication is not just speaking out but writing or typing properly.

Are you still having doubts as to how you use your gadgets? Answer this question; if you see a fire outbreak or a robbery or a car jacking what will be your first reaction? Is it recording the incident, posting it on snapchat and showing friends or actually using the phone to CALL the appropriate authority? 

The world we live in today is so competitive. Only the best survive. Although Technology came to improve our way of life, it should not be used for self destruction. Take time out to ask yourself  'Is Technology  aiding my communication or depleting it?' 

Ships we are sailing on.

Do you have that one person you keep chasing? that one person you always need to look out for and keep close so that you won't lose them? It may be your sister, your husband, your boyfriend , your best friend.

Now flipping the Coin! Are you the one that need to be chased, begged, ego massaged, tolerated?   

You might not realize but you may be pushing people away from you. 

Sometimes it's hard to know where to stop, to know where to set the boundaries. I find myself in friendships that it feels I'm the only one trying. when we fight I need to apologize even when I'm not at fault, we don't talk for days and I'm the one that did something wrong 🙄,  it's exhausting. Sometimes I ask myself what's all the fuss about? I'm pretty independent! I can survive on my own. 

The irony of this is I have friends who have never given up on me, friends that always call, encourage, apologize when we fight, make themselves available. It's not that I don't love them or I don't appreciate them, I've just gotten used to being the spoilt one in those relationships.

Many of us are quick to assign blame and switch out the victim card.  We always believe the universe is against us. Always ready to run, never willing to try and stick around. It's time to take a step back and reevaluate. In most of your broken relationships what part did u have to play? Was it reconcilable? If yes, did you try or let ego get in the way? There is so far a friend, mum, spouse or significant other can carry you. At a point you need to own up, work on yourself and carry your own weight.

It's sad to say but some of us are so used to always being the bigger person and end up being bitter for it. love keeps no record of wrongs. This doesn't mean you should be taken advantage of. It's important you know your self worth and know when to let go. In the same breadth it's all about realizing how much you value that friend. Some of us might wonder why is my dad always apologizing to my mum even when she's wrong, why does my husband always throw in the towel first? It doesn't mean the other party is stupid. It just means you are valued far more than any silly fight.

Are you in a fix right now trying to determine whether to let go or not ? Think about the relationship and answer these questions,You will find the answer your searching for.

1. Are we both adding value to each other's lives?

2. Can I deal with X's baggage without being pulled down? 

3. Are there things I do that X has to deal with and overlook?

4. How long do our fights last; Does it cross over  to the next day? 

5.Have I spoken to X about how I feel? 

6. What was my approach when talking to X? 

7. How was the news taken? 

Sometimes it's not about ego! It's about finding the boundary between self respect and loving someone else. Being independent is fun but we all need someone to lean on. 

Are you the Beggar or the Spoilt Brat? 

Find that Balance today 😘❤️.